How to Defeat the Space Monkeys on Ascension

In the new zom­bie map, Ascen­sion, the Hell­hounds are replaced by the cute, klep­to­ma­niac mon­keys.  Every 4–6 rounds, these evil space mon­keys plum­met from the sky and try to steal your perks.  Here are some tips to thwart the evil primates:

• Split up!  The mon­keys will attack all of the open perk machines.  Send a team mem­ber to guard each one.
• If no one has the perk, no sweat.  If no one has a par­tic­u­lar perk, don’t bother guard­ing that machine.  You have noth­ing to lose.
• If you encounter the mon­keys on their way to a perk machine, they will do a monkey-stomp, causing a wave of dam­age.  If you jump at the same time as the mon­keys land, you will not be damaged.
• Clay­mores!  Set up clay­mores in front of the perk machines.  The mon­keys can destroy the clay­mores with their stomps, but this at least buys you some more time before they get to the perks.
• Stock up clay­mores in between the mon­key rounds.  Each round you get 2 new clay­mores (also, max ammos).  Place them fac­ing walls and in cor­ners to stock them up.  You can then pick them up to for­tify the perk machines when mon­key rounds begin.  It’s also help­ful to have a stock­pile of clay­mores if you run out of ammo.
• Lastly, don’t throw grenades at the mon­keys.  They will throw them back at you.  Seriously.